How To Ride A Bike

Amy Wright

While it is not quite modern technology, it has come to my attention that many in the present day are unclear on how best to operate a bicycle. What follows is a handy guide to these wonderful machines.

A Matter of Weight:

The weight of a bicycle makes no real difference in terms of the  speed of the machine. Except in that it will slow things down considerably when the 'feather light' but also exceedingly delicate frame of one's $5,000 dollar bicycle meets with any sort of accident.

Specialized Clothing: 

Despite the claims of many, outside certain types of safety  equipment, specialized clothing is not required for the majority of sporting activities and are, in fact, largely a bamboozle concocted by crafty 'entrepreneurs', and other assorted Carpetbaggers, on the look out for a fast fortune. 

Bicycle Lanes Are Not A Suggestion: 

It is truly perplexing the number of times one is driving one's Bentley on a scenic  coastal motorway, only to spy a gaggle of neon-coloured bicycle enthusiasts riding two or three abreast, down the centre of the road. Despite the designated bicycle lane being clearly marked mere inches away.