The Troll Defence Guide 

Amy Wright

There wee always have always been things to fear. From wolves in the trees to deranged killers in the shadows, we have always had our monsters, both real an imagined. Now, with the slow shift into the digital realm, to the point "In Real Life" has to be used to distinguish between actually real life and the representation of it online, particularly via social media, another breed of monster has emerged, growling from the dark. Last seen menacing bully goats trying to cross their bridges, Trolls have made a major comeback on the social media landscape, one advantage to the infamous "gate-keepers" of yore being a semblance of security. 

By far the worst blight of the 21st century, directly linked to at least one death by suicide, a Troll is also one of the most complex issues faced, exactly because of the nature of this activity. Making people react is exactly what Trolls want. To get angry or upset and reply to them only gives them joy and motivates them to do it more. Which is why the main bit of advice when it comes to dealing with them is "don't feed the Trolls." While a nice sentiment it also isn't very realistic and fails to take into account human nature.

It is a sad but true fact that we are reactive, no matter how much we wish it wasn't the case or try and not let things get to us. While it is still not a great idea to respond honestly or to lash out in anger to the provocations of Trolls, there are still things you can do to defuse their power while also letting them know what you, and most of the world, think of them. 

1. Pretend To Agree
It can be a bitter pill to swallow but if Trolls get by and get off on conflict and pain and thrive on complicit silence, consensus is  their logical Kryptonite. 

2. Sympathize 
No, seriously. Next time someone is a jerk online, ask them what is going on or who hurt them and if they want to talk about it. They will never see it coming and are more than likely to just leave. Most likely to go and cry in the corner of their mom's basement. 

3. Fight Fire With Fire
Reserved for only the most formidable of responders, partly due to the barrage of abuse you will get, this is a way to really hit back against the sad little idiots who make the Internet miserable for everyone else because they have nothing else in their lives. Some preparation is also required so you can do it immediately, timing being a factor in the effect. The next time a Troll says something awful to or about you respond immediately with something like "oh you poor thing" or "you need this more than I do" with a link to a dating site.