Olive Branch

T.K. McNeil

It's done. Like Emperor Palpatine another war has been ended in one fell swoop. War On Christmas in one fell swoop. Forget the "Happy Holidays" and secular "Christmas Songs" (get out of here Irving Berlin, you talentless hack!). Christmas is Christmas once more and all ye faithful are once again able to celebrate unabashed. Still though, one mustn't to be too arrogant in victory. So as a gesture of good-will to all men (and women), I have dedicated this weeks guide to ways those of the occult and pagan faiths can avoid being persecuted during this season of giving. 

1.Wear earbuds while performing incantations and pretend your are singing along.

2. Birthday candles work just as well for rituals as full sized ones.

3. Grimories can easily be disguised as poetry book manuscripts.

4. Kitchen spices and extracts still work for potions and require less mixing.

5. Make your smartphone into your wand.

6. Mix up the black in your wardrobe with other colours, like red blue and lavender.

7. Trees, birds and cats count as magic symbols.

8. Put a rubber end on your staff of power and say it is a walking stick.

9. Keep magic books and other related materials on encrypted PDFs.

10. Cooking counts as a form of conjuring.

11. “Cute” names like Goofball and Mr. Muffins make Familiars sound like pets.

12. An oversized black hoodie can work as a cloak.

13. Marijuana and incense can have very similar smells.

14. If asked about your pentacle say you are a Communist.